there again

I feel like there is weight on my back...pushing me down so I am faced with my sin and stuck in a patterns of stumbling and falling and wiping the muck off my face. I think Dante had this part down......in Purgatory people are working off their sin and continuously faced with their sinful rebellion and the reminder of their fallen souls. As they make their way up the mountain to God and Paradise the weight on their shoulder gets lighter and lighter until they can finally stand up straight and see God face to face. So I understand the illustration that Dante makes, but I don't agree with it....Oh I agree that you can feel like that...in fact I feel like that most days lately, but the truth is we do not need to work off our sin before the weight is taken from our shoulders. Your Word Lord say that Christ paid the price we could not pay. He has already taken the burden onto his own shoulders. He bore the weight of the Cross and that is enough. What is there we can do that Christ has not already done? What cost is greater then the death and resurrection of the Son of God?....yet we often try to pay penance for our sins...I often try to pay. There is a lie that the devil propagates stating that we earn our salvation.....we are the ones that sin and therefore we should be the ones to pay the price. It makes sense. But the truth of God is foolishness to the world. His grace is sufficient even for the likes of me.....if salvation is about earning my way into heaven, working off my sin to become right with the Father, to have a relationship with Christ, then two major problems occur. One: the weight of salvation is on my shoulders...that is a lot of pressure and frankly a lost battle. And two: that makes me like God...I have all the power.....but actually...there is a third problem that trumps the first two...what does that say about the cross? If the way to salvation is determined by my actions then why did Jesus die? Was His sacrifice insufficient to rectify my relationship with God? May it never be! Again, His grace is sufficient!

So what the heck is my problem? I know this truth...I know I do not "earn" a right relationship with God.....it is not what I do, but what He has done....the old has passed away and I am a new creation in Christ....I've traded my rages for His righteousness...yet when I stumble and when I fall...which is often.....instead of embracing this fundamental truth, I beat myself up, I take the weight of sin which Christ has already bore, strap it to my back, and try to make my way up the mountain, continuously dwelling in my indiscretions and forgetting the grace of our Lord. It sounds stupid to say out loud...to look truth in the face and say it's not good enough for me. Yet my actions speak louder then this truth I know in my head. I need to live this truth daily. So again I ask, Lord give me grace, grace to see you, grace to understand you, grace to let go of my sin, and grace to jump headfirst into you truth....to be hidden in Christ and found in Him alone. Amen

Writing exercise

If you want to be a writer....then you have to write....One reason I originally started blogging was to give myself a medium to express my creative itch. So without further ado...her is a quick short story that helped to occupy the last 20 minutes of my day:

“Everything was fine till the police showed up at the blogging convention”

Monday: 10-12 play date for Billy
2-3:30 dance class for Catherine
5:15 pick up Sam from Soccer
6:30 pot-roast
Tuesday: 11am Brunch with Kim
1:30 Sing-ups for summer camp
2-3:30 painting studio for Catherine
5:15 pick up Sam from Soccer
6:30 Lasagna
Wednesday: 7:30 field trip to War Museum with Catherine & Billy
2-4:30 Mall trip for Spring wear
5:15 pick up Sam from Soccer
6:30 Salmon & asparagus
Thursday: 9:45 meeting with head of Milton Academy pre-school
11-2 Women’s blogging conference
2-3:30 dance class for Catherine
5:15 pick up Sam from Soccer
6:30 meatloaf & peas
8 William Sr. sick from arsenic
Friday: Parent/teacher day Kids at home
9 call ambulance for dead husband
10:30 call school to cancel appoints
11-2 act the grieving wife with friends
2-3:30 dance class for Catherine
5 bring Sam to sleepover
6:30 Hamburgers on the grill

Monday…check…Tuesday….check…Wednesday…check…Thursday…hmm…Thursday had a bit of a snag. Everything was fine till the police showed up at the blogging convention. What is more harmless then housewives meeting to discuss a forum to share ideas? I still plead my innocence. Sharon is the one who slowly feed her husband to death, using a combination of extra hot bubble baths and copious amounts of food. True…it is much harder to detect foul play when bumbling blimp calls wolf. Obviously his extreme obesity can’t be anyone’s fault but his own….brilliant, but too time consuming. I had a schedule to keep. If it worked for women of the past, I would just rather stick with a classic then reinvent the Bible.

Freedom of speech…free flow of ideas…isn’t that the point of the evolution of technology? So shoot me for putting bronze behind the brains, gumption behind the umption…actions speak louder than fingers numbly maneuvering over a keyboard…though, I didn’t expect my actions to be heard this loudly…opps.

But anyways, now it is Friday and my schedule is all off. No one is home to watch the kids but William. And obviously there is a problem with William or arsenic would not be such an appealing option. No one seems to understand the grave injustice underway. If not stopped, William will trod on in his pathetically pitiful existence and I will be stuck here. I do not think this jump suit goes with my complexion and play dates through Plexiglas are highly inconvenient.

I must speak with the Captain. He always seemed like a nice man. Though his wife Loraine did have tips of her own for disposing of her pompous, inefficient husband, so perhaps it’s best to button up my lips for the moment. I simply do not understand. All these eyes fixed on me as if witnessing a ravenous beast out of its natural habitat….destined to be out in a cage. But perhaps it was the cage that made the beast…time already spent in captivity that turned the creature murderous?

But back to the point, I refuse to accept their arrogance…is if this could never happen in their backyards. They choose to live in oblivion to the rustling mummers of discontent housewives, but I speak for the unheard, underappreciated masses. I speak, therefore I am. I am Mrs. William Butler Cartwright, housewife, mother, and go-getter.

Copyright 4/22/09 Cathy Kaminski

OPPS! Forgot to keep blogging!

Oh goodness.....so it has been two months and no post...not that there hasn't been a lot to post about, but purely based on my amazing ability to procrastinate! So here is a short post...to let you know that I'm alive!

I have been think about different subjects to post on and was waiting for a major update before posting one....but that is silly and with that attitude I would never post again!

So on the short update...Northwestern Law School has decided to make my job a FULL TIME appointment and not just temp! That means this morning I applied for the job I have had since the beginning of November and HOPEFULLY shortly i will be officially hired! WOOHOO for benefits! I can't wait to go to the dentist and the eye doctor:-)

I will write more when I know more!