Life, ministry, school, and a personal walk with Jesus

It has been an interesting week in Ceresco.  I am finding that God is teaching me a lot about balance and grace as I seek after Him and seek to do his will.  In some regards this week has been a roller-coaster as I continue to seek wisdom in terms of what it looks like to be a pastor, to be a student, and to be a disciple of Christ.

As a pastor I had the opportunity to walk alongside a family who has been struggling with sickness and disease.  One of the parishioners has liver cancer and late Wednesday night he got the news that he was going to receive a new liver.  This is a miracle!  It continues to be a miracle as God is present and at work in the life of this family.  I have never experienced anything like this.  To see the joy and the hope as healing begins.  I continue to pray for healing and for cure as the long road of recovery lies ahead for this family.  Yet God is present and in that all hope lies.

In life I have struggles as I am far away from people I love in Chicago.  Dear dear friends like Kim and Mike Thomas, (see picture), bless me with their intentional friendship.  I have been blessed beyond belief with friends and family that demonstrate love for me every day.  This past week I had the opportunity to catch up with a college roommate and played phone tag with three other college roommates.  Again, the blessing of friends like Beena, Kelly, Grace, Kelly, and Annicka bring tears to my eyes because I feel so loved.  But it is hard to reflect on my current state of singleness and the reality that at the end of the day I come home to an empty apartment.  As always I am wrestling with the difference between solitude and loneliness and seeking wisdom.  To know that I am so blessed with community, yet so far away from people I love it a hard truth.

Which brings me to my final reflect of the week on my walk with Jesus.  In school, in ministry, and in life all aspects come back to my identity as a disciple of Christ.  I live this life not out of my own strength but out of God’s.  My identity is founded on who He has made me to be and in the hope for where He is directing me.  It is hard.  I am rebellious and seek to be my own god and be the one in control of all circumstances.  Yet, it is the promise of life and the good news of Christ that I do not HAVE to be god!  God is God!!  And daily I have the freedom to turn to Him and give Him my burdens.  He is my hope for today, my hope for tomorrow, and in that truth I find rest.

Solitude, Health, and Buffaloes

I have official been in Nebraska for over a month now!  As part of my rule of life I have decided to take a half day of solitude the last Friday of every month.  What this looks like is going out into nature in some capacity, no technology for a solid 6 hours or more, running, walking, journaling, relaxing, basically doing whatever it takes to be still and rest.  This morning I ventured to Pioneers Park.

This is a park in Lincoln about 20 miles from where I live.  As I walked, jogged, and simply lounged around the park, God was reminding me of what it means to be healthy.  This past week I have been reflecting on health and intentionality.  In the past month there have been some areas of my life that have brought tremendous health.  The amazing people I have had the opportunity to meet and the friendships that have started have already given me life and I look forward to how God will continue to grow these relationships over the coming year.

But I was also reminded of the ways I have not grabbed onto health in this past month.  The majority of my time has been spent getting to know people in my church...meaning going out to eat...and mostly junk food.  Well, what is past is past, but how do I make a change today looking into the  future?  (See picture to the right) 

In this next month I hope to intentionally eat better and think about what I am putting into my body and how it either aids or takes away from what God has called me to do.

(Some sites and friends from Pioneers Park!)



Lastly, I was reminded to dream BIG!  This past week a parishioner asked me if I have ever had my heart broken.  Immediately I thought of London and how hard it was when my visa was denied for the FOURTH time!  But then I remembered the amazing people God put in my life during that time.  My coworkers Chloe, Sharon, and Chris.  And how it was not returning to London that set me on the path to Chicago, seminary, and eventually here to Ceresco.  God's plans are bigger and better than I could have ever imagined and I hope to always dream big and ask big asks....because God is that much greater than my hopes and dreams and that means more adventure for the future!

Here We Go Again On My Own

It is hard to believe I have already been here for FOUR weeks!  I look around at the the amazing people I have meet and how much God has already taught me and I know time has passed, but then again it is just flying by.  When time seems to slip away so quickly it is hard to be intentional about how I spend my time.  I want to be intentional about my time in Nebraska!  I want to be healthy and to grow.  Although the past four weeks feel like a blur, I know that I am not being intentional and I struggle with what it looks like to be on my own.

The other week I listened to Judy Peterson's sermon from CHIC (CHIC is a big youth conference int eh Evangelical Covenant Church).  If you want to be blown away and challenged in your faith I suggest listening to her sermon!  It is well worth it: http://covchurch.tv/chic2012-peterson-message/Judy's sermon.  She preached on the man at the well that Jesus healed.  The question Jesus asked was "Do you want to be made well?"  This question has stayed with me for the last few weeks.  In truth I say I want to be made well, I want to be intentional about my time in Ceresco, I want to be healthy, but my actions do no follow my heart.

Jesus asks "Do you want to be made well?"  Then he states clearly, "Get up!"  Jesus asks the question but he also requires a RESPONSE! Well....in truth I find myself not getting up!  If I want to be made well then I better the heck GET UP!  Living on my own is hard because after a busy day i just want to zone out in front of the tv.  That is ok on occasion, but not as a default!  I know that does not give me life.

What is hard for me is that friends often give me life.  In fact this week I had three great friends coem and visit and it made my week!  Thanks Ellie, Rachel, and Sam!

 But I am left with the question, what does it look like to have rest that breeds life outside of the context of close friends?  I don't have an answer yet, but I am hoping to pick up my mat!  I am hoping to be intentional and to indeed GROW!  So here I go again on my own...oh yeah, with God too!

All Things New

Week three and God continues to surprise me and bless me more than I could possibly imagine! A week ago I had the chance to go to a friend's family reunion in Kansas. I took a hay rake ride, rode a horse, shot a gun, and enjoyed meeting some great people.

This past week I also got to go to a Salt Dogs game!

I do love baseball:-) And I hope to continue to take every experience presented to me. I am still learning to pace myself. I am learning when I need to rest and what healthy rest looks like. I am trying find a rhythm of life that fits and both challenges and grows my faith. I am making mistakes and I hope learning from them. I mean, isn't that what life is all about?

Dang it! I'm Still a Perfectionist!

Two weeks in an d God is already teaching me so much! Low and behold I am still a perfectionist and when the head pastor asked me, "What about this first full week has made you nervous or hesitant?" The answer surprised me....I am not nervous about getting up in front of the church and sharing my testimony, (did that the first Sunday). I am not nervous about teaching a class, (did that on my first Tuesday)...but I seem to have this overwhelming desire to be GREAT at all these tasks right off the bat.

Well guess what? I'm not going to be seasoned on my first attempt at ministry, so why am I putting so much pressure on myself? Oh yeah, I'm crazy and I think I need to prove my calling...maybe even prove my calling to myself. Here is the deal. GOD CALLED ME! I have nothing to prove because it is not in my own strength that I need to live this life of ministry! DUH! But in my first few weeks I found myself trying to be the best in my own strength. In the words of Professor Bruckner I have a divided heart...my head and my heart are not connected and I need to remember that it is not about me...it is about Jesus!

So with humility and a sense of hope I look forward to the lessons God has in store for me this year. I am so thankful for what He has already taught me and reminded me here in Ceresco. He continues to bless me with amazing people and new friends. On top of that I have found some excellent coffee shops:-) I can't wait to see what this year has in store and I am excited to be dependent on HIM and not myself. Bring it on mistakes! I know I can learn from you!

Oh, and here is a new favorite caffeinated watering hole!

One Week in!

One week in and already God is teaching me so much and showing me love through so many amazing people! The community here in Ceresco has welcomed me with open arms and I hope to serve them faithful and with my whole heart throughout the year. Just this week I have been praying through a Rule of Life and ministry goals for the year's internship. My Rule of Life is to be intentional and purposeful in Devotion/Confession, Action (living out my faith), Discipline/Stewardship, and Rest. Here are my ministry goals: 1) To grow in my identity as a pastor 2) Develop in my preaching and worship leading abilities 3) To live out a “Rule of Life” finding a rhythm in ministry 4) To take every opportunity presented to experience rural culture 5) Examine and reflect on the gifts God has given me and how He has called me to ministry Tell me what you think:-)

I moved to Nebraska!

Welcome to God's country! That is what it felt like as I drove further and further from the city of Chicago and embarked on my journey into pastoral ministry. This next year I am blessed to be able to serve in the midst of an amazing church body in Ceresco Nebraska. Never heard of it? Well, you SHOULD! It is beautiful here and the people are wonderful. I arrived here on my 28th birthday and not only was I greeted with 20 people to unload my car, but then an additional 30 showed up to throw me a birthday party! I have never had such a birth in my life. While there are aspects of this year that intimidate and scare me, I already feel loved and accepted and am so excited to see what God has in store:-) I am moving away from a community in Chicago that has blessed me, loved me, challenged me, and helped me to grow. Yet, with each person that I meet here in Ceresco I know that description is true here as well. Each week I hope to share with whoever is interested I will be updating this blog and sharing a bit of how I see God moving in this place. I hope you will join me for this ride!

Also: I am attempting to run/walk at least a mile a day this year and share how I have seen God in those times as well. Here is this week: July 30th: Run with Amy where God showed me the blessing of a neighborhood in a big city July 31st: tour of Ceresco with Pastor Jodi where I saw God in the community here August 1st: Run with Ben & Elise where I saw the blessing of God through friends on this journey August 2nd: Walk through the country where I saw God EVERYWHERE!