hmmmm...thinking about anything but Chicago?

So here is the thing.....I love the idea of Chicago. I loved visiting Chicago when I was in uni....I love the people here....I love the Cubs and the fact that they are doing well....I love the history of the city....I love the feel of walking through the neighborhoods and getting the community vibe in the middle of a huge city....and of course I love the lake.....but how do I feel about moving to Chicago, I still don't know.

I know that my identity isn't found in what I do....I am not defined by whether or not I am a college student, whether or not I have a job, or whether or not I have the hopeful outlook on my bank statement...I am found in Christ....yet there seems to be a disconnect between my head and my heart when it comes to this fact.

Being in a new city, without a church, without a job, without family....and suddenly I lose focus of Jesus. I get frustrated at the fact that last year at this time I said goodbye to London and now a year later I am still not settled. I still looking, still seeking, still striving to hear God's still small voice. Doing my best to put Him first and seek to glorify Him and find the purpose He has for me. But then I stumble and fall on my face again. But He is faithful to pick me up, I just wish I wasn't a stupid Israelite that the Lord blesses then I turn my back, turn my heart and forget His goodness.

ANd that is where I'm at...trying to remember His goodness, HIs provision, and His faithfulness to bless those who love HIm and keep His commandments. If I abide in Him and His word in me then He will give me the desires of my heart...because at that point my desires will be His desires...but how do I get there? What does that look like? I guess that is what this journey is all about figuring out....so I will go do that.