About six years ago I said something really stupid to a
friend. Shocking I know. I mean, I’m sure that is the only time I said something stupid in the
last six year. Truth be told, I know I
have said many stupid things and some of them probably brought great pain. Others not even a second thought. I do not know if this friend even remembers
our discussion about women as pastors, (this particular conversation was about
women as worship pastors), but to her this blog post is dedicated! This is my penance, my sincere apology, and an
omission of my extreme stupidity and lack of tacked! I hope you enjoy!
The conversation that I write of? A simple passing banter at camp. My friend asked what I thought of female
worship pastors? My comments: “I don’t know. I have always had male leaders. I think they lead better. And, well, I like the sound of their voices
more. It is easier for a congregation to
follow a male worship leader.” I’m
calling bull sh*t on myself! WHAT THE
HECK!? If I was my friend, who by the
way is a talented and gifted singer and guitar player, I would have walked away
discouraged and judged. In my naiveté and
lack of theological understanding of women as leaders, a made some stupid
comment that here, six years later, I am still thinking about.
Why am I still thinking about it? To tell you where I am today, I must tell you
where I have been. I really came to own
my faith in Jesus as a college student.
I was a part of Campus Crusade for Christ and I got involved in an amazing
church movement called Newfrontiers.
Both these organizations support a complementarian view of women in
ministry. That means that they believe
that while both sexes are equal, they have been created differently and for
different purposes. Therefore women can
serve in all capacities except head leadership, (as pastor). I knew the biblical support for this view, I
had never been limited in my call to ministry, if anything I had been
encouraged. Therefore I did not think
much about whether or not I supported this view of women and hence, why I made
idiotic comments in passing that in all reality put limitations on my fellow
sisters in Christ.
Well, after careful study of the Bible, after a lot of
prayer, and sadly after an experience where I was overlooked because of my
gender I finally repented of this view of women. It is crazy to think that as a woman I would
limit other women. But that is often the
case. It finally took my own season of
pain and heartache and a questioning of the call God has put on my life that
finally brought this all into perspective.
I know why some Christians hold this view of women. There are people I love very deeply that
do. But what I never understood is how
comments like the ones I made to my friend and other comments that come out of
a complementarian view do not demonstrate God’s love. That comment spoke condemnation. It placed my understanding as a judgment over
my friend’s call to ministry. That is
NEVER the point of a theological view.
But, lived out, that is exactly what it is sometimes. For that, I am sorry.
I hope to live out my faith in such a way that empowers
other and points them towards Christ: which is the way to love, freedom, and
anything but condemnation!
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